In the picture is my troll, with the book I got from the transformers freak :) This place has gone from black and white, to green and brown, in the time I have lived here. I am pleased.
This weekend, I have thrown away around 100 good kilos of trash. I've emptied the cabinets of food we should have eaten last year. I found so many odd things that M has thought he should probably eat. Mostly seeds of various kinds.. things that are good for your heart, brain, knees, ears etc. He is so much like I used to be. When I was 18-19, I was all about green tea, seeds, wholemeal, that stuff. I was also a vegetarian! I was very healthy, usually on Tuesday, Wednesday and then again on Sunday. Yes, somehow, I forgot what I was trying to achieve when I had my friends over. These girls were the ones who kept me laughing and smiling all through the last years of school. We had a wonderful time together, and they were just as weird as I was. The reason why I felt so at home with them, was because they were very much like boys. You know, when everything is just humour. The bestest friends I have had, who have been easy to talk to and have stuck with me through thick and thin, are all boys/men, for some reason, I feel more relaxed with the opposite sex.
But with these girls- We didn't talk make-up, we didn't talk cars either. But we saw the humour in absolutely everything. Even our sad selves. We all had a mental instability, and we knew about them. We didn't talk about them much, but we had each other's backs.
When we had our get togethers, we would eat the kind of food that you eat the first week you moved out of your parents' house. That first time in your life when you can do whatever the fuck you want. So you eat pizza in the morning, sweets for lunch, have coffee with everything, perhaps a beer or two with dinner, which would be a sandwich.
So, this is what M is still doing, and it makes me smile. He's an optimist.
My grandmother called this afternoon. She is still very worried about the cost of calling me from another country, but only mentioned it twice this time. She is my scary grandmother. She knows everything about everyone, and often, she thinks she knows even more. I love her. She looks like a plushie, like you want to pick her up and rub your nose against hers. But she is also the one who invented the evil eye. The evil eye I give M when he is so deadly wrong about something, that makes him run away and hide under the bed, I have learnt from her.
When my grandmother has an opinion, and she always does, nothing can change her mind. If you do happen to sway her mind a little, you will not notice until much, much later.
Last year, she sent me a christmas present in the mail. It was a big package, gift wrapped, and inside there were more presents. I had tears in my eyes when I opened them. I have been moving around the last few years, and haven't really stopped. i miss my family daily, but don't reflect on it all that much. It hasn't been many years, but I think it's because I have been doing some growing up, and doing that without them nearby, makes me miss them more.
The image of this present from my gran instantly jumped into the sentimental section of my brain, where I have various types of things.. the good kisses, the family hugs, the sad losses, my brother, when my druid hit level 70, that kind of stuff.
She gave me those sorts of presents when I was a child, where she would put all kinds of things, for example; a scarf, a foot file, make up, conditioner (those small packets you get free with a magazine), cheap jewlery, etc.
I'm not saying my grandmother is stingy, she isn't. She always did good with christmas shopping, and would give me "proper" gifts as well. But this was very typical of her back when I was a young girl. Last year, I realised how much I had missed it. I could even catch a scent of her perfume as I peeled the wrapping off. Perfume, mixed in with cigarette smoke and detergent, which is what her place always smells like.
I told her how happy the gift had made me, and her reaction really surprised me. She got sentimental too, and this year, I'm going to get another present like the last one. I am a lucky woman. My grandmother rocks.
