Maple Syrup

The car has started to shiver... Once you've started up the engine and driven for about three minutes, it starts to studder along the road. It's most uncomforting.
M made pancakes the other day. He makes them the american way. I like it. It can be very sweet though, especially when I firmly drown the pancakes in syrup.. love that shit.
I prefer them made the way I'm used to though. very thin, and no sugar, just salt. Which makes it okay to drown them in much more sugary stuff to get the balance. Jam and cream. Yum.

I made a dear friend of mine make a blog spot tonight. I don't usually make people do things against their will. But I must say, it's fun. It's making me think of the mind games I used to play on my fellow snow castle builders from when we were seven or so. The age when you've started to master how to socialise without necessarily begging for candy (of course, this behaviour wasn't completely dead yet)
I would dig my own spade down in the snow, to then have the excuse to continue building stuff out of snow with just my hands. My fingers would get cold, turn into a mystical blue-purplish colour, and after a while, somebody would look at me with silly innocent little eyes, smile and give me their- much nicer spade and they'd have to run home and get themselves another one.
I never had the fanciest toys, or tools, and I was always jealous of other kids.
Until I turned 14, rebelloius and decided to not like very many things at all.

The result being, that I think it's pointless with Ipods.
An mp3 player will do the same job, cost less, and not be mixed up with another one on the bus, nearly as often as an ipod will.

(I'm a nicer person now, by the way)

Birthday girl

Yesterday started out as most birthdays do, you sleep in, for no other reason than that you feel like you deserve to. After all, you have survived another year. There are some times I have been close to not making it, but I've lived this far relatively non-lethally.

I hate when I do that, end a sentence with two word or non-words ending in "y".



M has been struggling with an infected toe. It's been dragging him through a smaller hell the last week or so. Our sleep patterns were turned completely around. Yesterday I woke up 2am, shuffled into the office and started reading happy birthday emails. Mostly wishes from different companies I've come in contact with over the net, such as Comic book resources, and Gamingnotover forums... But my lovely facebook converted family and friends did most of the spamming, for that I love them. I don't think I have ever appreciated cards and well wishes in text messages this much before.



My home sickness has started to show its ugly big head a lot. Actually, quite frequently around the apartment. Tonight I saw it on the empty wall in the living room.. if I had been in Sweden, I would have searched though my belongings and hung up the old painting of a fox I had in my room as a kid. On the other hand, it wouldn't be the same wall, and probably not empty anyway.. and.. err.



I made a cake later on. First marzipan cake I've ever dared to master. It tasted pretty decent, but then, I mean, it's sugar, marzipan and cream, of course it's going to be delicious. But I screwed up, using powded sugar when I rolled out the marzipan instead of flour, so in the end, the marzipan was covered in white spots of sugar.. so instead of spelling out "Sofie 25" or something daft like that, on the cake, I peeled some extra strings of marzipan and wrote "Snow" with it, which I thought was very deep. I bowed to my own brilliance and handed it over to the one armed troll who lives in M's parents' cupboard.

Today is a good day, a great day

I spent all of last night, drawing.

Mostly crap. Yeah, mostly.. utter waste of time, paper and effort. But at least I felt some sense of accomplishment when the sun told me it was 8am and my limbs were- not nagging, more like screaming at me like when your mom has to yell at you for the thirtysecond time, to go to bed, kind of way. My limbs can't be my mother, can they? I'm sure I could wrap a poem around it, and have one or two people second guess what a mother is.

I know I love my mom.

It's strange, but quite wonderful that I've actually realised this. I mean, I've known that I love my family... but never really said it out loud to myself. I am very uncertain about life itself, so the things I am sure about, helps me deal with everything. Best thing is, it doesn't have to be active, just has to be there.

I read some old journals of mine yesterday, and I have always been cynical, depressed and even indecent to the point that it gets uncomfortable to read.

But I guess, when things were okay around me, I had very little to tell. Who wants to write a journal about that one day when you were really happy, one of those blissful days when nothing bothered you, and all you did was walk around not thinking?

Unless you walked into a lightpole, there's no punch line, is there.